A few weeks in to our home-schooling journey and we have already hit a few metaphorical bumps in the road. It turns out that home-schooling ‘can’ – but not always, seem a lot like normal parenting, yet magnified. The feelings, the house work, the love the laughter and the tears. As we slowly forge our way as a home-schooling family, I am beginning to open up to new ideals and ways of being. We are learning quickly that there are no right or wrong ways to do this, and the thing that will hold this ship together is and always will be, connection. What is the most important thing in all of this is the emotional well being of my children. I also want this to be their journey, which means for the first time, as we navigate life outside that dreamy space of early childhood, they are getting to navigate the waters and steer the ship themselves! There is a whole big, wide, world out there to discover, and the time is now.

I whole heartedly accept the journey of motherhood requires a level of openness and trust from me, this is something I have been learning along the way. This openness and trust requires from me an acceptance to unlearn a lot of idea’s, ‘how to’ and ‘should BE’s’ that I had once held on to. I have learnt that having any form of expectation only mean’s I am going have to question why it is I am expecting things to be a certain way in the first place. This unlearning has been a beautiful unfolding and has brought me to a incredible place of self acceptance.  Unlearning, has made me question all of the professional knowledge I may have once held dear, and taught me to allow my intuition to guide to wonderous places in my parenting and now all be it new, home-schooling.

This week has had me reflecting about the awe and wonder my children have experienced during their early years and how I am going to transfer that wonder to our home-schooling journey. I realise now, that I had unintentionally gone into this journey trying to be as organised and planned as I could possibly be. Being trained in early childhood, did not really help me, it more so meant, I have been planning and intellectualising the way this journey was going to look for us, way more than I should. This was met with resistance from my children, I knew I needed to include them much more in the planning and unfolding of their days.

I think I felt that the more organised and planned and prepared I was, the easier things were going to flow. In retrospect, I feel it was me, trying to feel safe, as a result I was trying to control a lot of the aspects of our day, and I was not giving myself the trust, the care, or the time or space I deserved. You see, just like in parenting I have discovered that home-schooling calls on you deeply to stand in your power and do the inner work, what ever that looks like for you. The more you avoid it, the more it becomes a necessity that will not let you rest until you take a moment to stand back and reflect on the work that needs to be done.

For me I have never been great at self-care; it has always been something I struggle with deeply. I have a natural tendency to accidentally start pouring from an empty cup as I put everyone else’s needs first.  I have found recently as a new home-schooling Mum, is that, this role calls out a lot from you, and if you are not careful you can find yourself giving and giving until there is nothing left to give. So, self-care has been a fundamental learning in this journey. For me it is currently looking like morning ocean swims and afternoon reading. I am still working on an early bedtime, but I am carving time for ritual again and holding the line when it comes to the over use of technology, and when you are wanting to run an online business –  that is a work in progress!

So here I am once again back to holding space for myself. I feel there is a beautiful lesson in all of this for me, and it is one I have faced before; and that is completely accepting the need to trust and surrender. When it all seems a little too hard, it probably is, and there is always tomorrow and that is the beauty of it all.

I have decided that by allowing more room to breathe and giving us all a little more space in our day to allow wonder to naturally unfold is going to be both my and their saving grace.

“If a child is to keep alive his inborn sense of wonder, he needs the companionship of at least one adult who can share it, rediscovering with him the joy, excitement, and mystery of the world we live in.”

Rachel Carson

Ways to initiate the natural joy of wonder

• Observe – I have decided to leave this week open to observation. To leave room for both silence and possibilities and see what unfolds. To make notice of what they are gravitating towards and what it is they are interested in learning. And using that as the seed that grows from within.
• Minimal distractions – Allowing this unfolding to happen organically and from a place of authenticity.  Spend our days focusing on our presence within each moment.
• Natural wonder – Going out to witness natural wonder all around us and see what curiosity may be sparked from within. The joy of watching caterpillars turning into butterflies, seeds sprouting, cloud pictures, moon phases, sunrise and sunset, finding rock crabs, whale watching, mushroom hunting, imaginary play, tree climbing…
• More observation and less explanation. Simple, really. Maybe some things just require the stillness of our being and the attention to the moment to be just as it is.
• Connection – Our relationships with each other, our selves and the world around us. Also, to begin to look for connections between things, things they already know and are passionate about, and seeing where the curiosity leads.
• Attention – paying attention to the small details and allow room for growth and learning.

And above all trust and love. I have recently come to the knowledge within myself that the greatest growth and learning happens when we have that spark and drive to learn that passion to be and a love of life it’s self. This only happens by allowing space for wonder and awe. And wonder and awe will not be present if we overthinking, over analysing and not trusting ourselves and the path before us. I find this knowledge empowering as it opens us up to a endless amount of creative freedom. This journey together in learning is our canvas and my children are the artists, I am the lady that gives them the love and encouragement, guidance and snacks, but this journey is theirs. And I can not wait to see where it leads us!

H x